WALT: make an excellent post

I am trying to make my posts interesting so an audience from the world will learn from my learning.

Here is my first draft of Kotahitanga. 

The next thing I have to do is add some words.

Here is my 2nd draft.

Doesn't it look much better? The last thing to do is to add some detail. Let's see if I add some more words.

That adds a bit more detail rather than telling others what it means. It will also tell you how you can show Kotahitanga. So now you know that you can have lots of different drafts on your posts so you can make it better. When people give you feedback, they are not trying to be mean, they are trying to help you to improve to do a better job than your rubbishy first draft. I hope that you learned something. Remember, you don't only have one chance to do something, you have as many as you need.

I think you need to improve your picture by making it neater. By Rileigh-Kaye