In writing we are always trying to be Careful writers and Thoughtful writers.
(For more information see writing page on this blog)
Our specific writing focus for today is...
WALT: include lots of details
SC: include information like...
who, where, when, and what
2.4.12
In the weekend I saw Sophie W at
Lazer Tag. I went to
Lazer Tag because It was Jack's Birthday.
Sophie's
Brother Jack turn 6 years old. I got 780 points. After that we went to
Mcdonalds. I got a Happy meal. I got a burger chips and coke. When we
finshed, we got some ice-cream. There were 6 people. With my happy meal,
I got a Panda book. When the party was finshed, I ate my ice-cream at
home. It was yummy! Sophie's Brother Jack is from Russell Street School.
When my mum and my sister picked me up, my sister got an ice-cream too.
Then my sister did not want an ice-cream because she wanted Mcdonalds
too.
5.4.12
In the weekend I saw Sophie W at
Laser Tag. I went to
Laser Tag because It was Jack's Birthday.
Sophie's
Brother Jack turn 6 years old. I got 780 points. After that we went to
McDonalds. I got a Happy meal. I got a burger chips and coke. When we
finshed, we got some ice-cream. There were 6 people. With my happy meal,
I got a Panda book. When the party was finshed, I ate my ice-cream at
home. It was yummy! Sophie's Brother Jack is from Russell Street School.
When my mum and my sister picked me up, my sister got an ice-cream too.
Then my sister did not want an ice-cream because she wanted McDonalds
too.
Ebony says: What a great story Tane. I like how you added lots of details about who was there, what you did and where you did it. I wonder what it was like playing Laser Tag? Does it hurt? I would love to know more about this.