WALT: Write a recount

 In writing we are always trying to be Careful writers and Thoughtful writers.
(For more information see writing page on this blog)

Our specific writing focus for today is...

WALT: include lots of details
SC: include information like...
who, where, when, and what

2.4.12
In the weekend I saw Sophie W at  Lazer Tag. I went to Lazer Tag because It was Jack's Birthday. Sophie's Brother Jack turn 6 years old. I got 780 points. After that we went to Mcdonalds. I got a Happy meal. I got a burger chips and coke. When we finshed, we got some ice-cream. There were 6 people. With my happy meal, I got a Panda book. When the party was finshed, I ate my ice-cream at home. It was yummy! Sophie's Brother Jack is from Russell Street School. When my mum and my sister picked me up, my sister got an ice-cream too. Then my sister did not want an ice-cream because she wanted Mcdonalds too.

 5.4.12
In the weekend I saw Sophie W at  Laser Tag. I went to Laser Tag because It was Jack's Birthday. Sophie's Brother Jack turn 6 years old. I got 780 points. After that we went to McDonalds. I got a Happy meal. I got a burger chips and coke. When we finshed, we got some ice-cream. There were 6 people. With my happy meal, I got a Panda book. When the party was finshed, I ate my ice-cream at home. It was yummy! Sophie's Brother Jack is from Russell Street School. When my mum and my sister picked me up, my sister got an ice-cream too. Then my sister did not want an ice-cream because she wanted McDonalds too.

Ebony says: What a great story Tane. I like how you added lots of details about who was there, what you did and where you did it. I wonder what it was like playing Laser Tag? Does it hurt? I would love to know more about this.